The Super Bowl has never really been my thing. Especially when there’s no queen performing. So here’s what I did instead:
1. Tweeted #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay in rapid succession.
2. Reviewed my 2010 college thesis: The Economic and Sociological Benefits of a Britney Spears Super Bowl Halftime Show.
3. Created a Change.org, Go-Fund Me and Kickstarter to have Britney Spears headline next year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show.
4. Listened to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations – RuPaul Charles: We’re All in Drag
5. Got pissed that I didn’t do Sunday Funday but reminded myself: “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
6. Watched Kylie Jenner’s own Super Bowl Halftime Show ‘To Our Daughter’
7. Searched for Kris Jenner ‘Legends Only’ memes. Why? Because that bad bitch had Kylie drop her baby news on m-f***ing Super Bowl Sunday!
8. Thought about meal prepping but after watching ‘To Our Daughter’ I was far too emotional to cook. Couldn’t do it.
9. Went on a Grindr blocking spree cause you know, Grindr XTRA membership.
10. Involuntarily topped a fraudulent “total top” from Scruff. Tired of these games.
11. Took 267 Snaps lip-synching to Bartier Cardi.
12. Deleted 266 of those Snaps.
13. Posted 1 Snap lip-synching to Bartier Cardi.
14. Watched ‘Super Bowl Halftime Show Queens of Pop Mega Mix’ on Youtube ft. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Madonna and Missy Elliott w/o Katy Perry.
15. Checked Tumblr for new content from OnlyFans.com accounts I don’t subscribe to.
16. Wrote 16 Gay Things My Gay Ass Did on Super Bowl Sunday 2018.
All in all, it was a really good and productive Super Bowl Sunday!